Useless Latin

Published by Antonio Carlos Santini 15 de March de 2012

 

– Ave, Caesar, morituri…

– Cut that out, would you! It’s been fifty years since the seminar and you still insist on speaking in Latin? Useless Latin…

– Data venia, well it has helped me some…

– None of that! It’s only of interest to priests, lawyers,et caterva…

– Never mind, Cezar! What news? Nihil novi?

– They say that the President will govern manu militari…

– Lato sensu?

– No! He’s going to make these shameless people abide by the laws in totum!

– If it’s the law, one must comply! Dura lex sed lex!

– The government should worry itself with other things: verbi gratia, the matter of profit per capita…

– Speaking of profit, how goes your pro labore?

– Goes to zero. Ever since they named me secretary ad hoc, I feel like I’m working ad honorem!

– It’s a pity! And your brother, Gonicinha?

– Inter pocula! At this rate, he’s going to end up with delirium-tremens… The other day he was arrested in a brawl.

– He didn’t get habeas-corpus?

– He was fined, but they gave him a sursis. He’s still drinking though. He’ll only stop once he’s in articulo mortis!

– That’s why I don’t want anything to do with alcohol.

– And I idem!

– And what do you think of the new Congress?

– The same as the old: they only legislate pro domo sua!

– Proh pudor!

– Changing the subject, what’s that package there?

– Nothing important, an agenda and a vade-mécum…

– Books! I flee from them!

– Well I just finished expanding my library. I even ordered an ex-libris at the studio Lumen Christi…

– How luxurious! Later on you can send me a fac-símile

– And your wife, how is she?

– That woman is a saint…

– A saint? Ipsis verbis?

– Ipsis litteris: she lives her life praying and high flying…

– Yeah… to put up with the husband, she’ll need alot of prayer…

– Mutatis mutandis,husbands need to pray too you know.

– Ipso facto!

– Back pains, migraines, mother-in-law, balding…

– Et coetera…

– Especially the etc.!

– How the wives suffer!

– Rememberthe wedding? You think that those vows are just pro forma?

– …

– And that once you’re wed you can live ad libitum?

– …

– Marriage is rough!

– Vade retro!

– Very well, Cesar, let’s get going. In a little while there’s the game at the Mineirão. … Are you coming to see the Atlético’s play?

– I plan to, uponthe Miss’ad referendum

– I hope to see you in situ.

– At the doorway as usual. If I don’t show up, it’s because I’m laying intra muros!

– What about an alibi? I can telephone, summoning you to someone’s wake.

– It’s no use: Abignalda loves going to wakes. For now, it will all have to stay sub judice…

– In saecula saeculorum…

– Amen!

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