My Pink Tinted Sunglasses

After the book “1984”, by George Orwell, I have always been very careful to praise any new technology that arises and that can influence people’s lives. It took me a while to catch on to cellular phones and it’s been the same way now with those pink tinted sunglasses.

The exceptionally fat saleslady with one rude push ajusted the sunglasses onto my face. Force was not lacking in her. She had big buff arms and very strong, Tamires is her name. She briskly said to just go ahead and pay at the cash register on my way out. I don’t know if those were her exact words.

The effect is immediate. A while ago I would have scolded her with the worst cuss words that I could muster. Today I see that this girl must have done an excellent salesperson course and knows just what the client wants. Or better, what he needs. Remembering my courses for salespeople, I asked: Did you do a course with me? She objectively didn’t answer.

I realized that to have her objectiveness would make life more enjoyable and the sooner I started the better. Lets not waste time on typical salesman talk, useless small talk. I walked out and went straight to the used bookstore, one block above where I was. The used bookstore here is now only for first and second year college schoolbooks. I asked the attendant where “Old Works” had gone, my favorite used book section.

– I don’t know and don’t want to know, answered the rascal.

Now you see the advantage of my new glasses. I saw clearly how the kid was objective and didn’t waste any of my time. The kids of today are much more direct and clear. I left feeling even better.

It started to rain and with my new gear I could see how good it is to live in Belo Horizonte: the rainwater accumulates when the manholes clog up with garbage and leaves creating genuine water holes. What a beautiful sight, and for free! In the neighborhoods it’s even more splendid because it carries in natural red mud.

I tried to go into the record store and the owner knowing that of course I would waste more of his time, showed me his closed face as a way of telling me to go away, since you’re not going to buy anything anyway!

I went to the bookstore and, just for fun, told the manager, who incidentally is a friend and has the same name as I.

– I’m entering with a book, is that ok?

He just gave a pout demonstrating a certain displeasure. But in his case it was the oh so precious objectivity. Why take up my time expressing in words? The rain stopped and there was still time to go back to Banco do Brasil, where I had left steaming with anger yesterday. Today would be the sunglasses’ trial by fire.

I came up running just in time to get the last query ticket, the same one that yesterday I judged as an inopportune bureaucracy, and went directly to the cashier like Rafaela, the bank clerk who had lent me her services the day before, had so sharply instructed me.

I went to the cashier and the initially ghastly lady transformed right away with my new auxiliary spectacles. How can I help you, sir; withdrawal, payment, what is it? As I said before, how great it is to work with young people today. Objectivity, clarity and everything else that the client needs most.

I would like to transfer my account balance into a savings account.

– Did you bring your identification card?

– I know it by heart, it’s …

– I want to see your identification card, she said with all the healthy energy present in her full bodied figure.

I smiled at her gratefully for the amount of kindness. I hope that she doesn’t take me as ironic but I really liked the girl. She typed something in and gave me two tickets. I wanted further explanations because I knew that mine was the last query for preferential cashier, but she anticipated me: “Look behind you and see how many shinny heads I still have to endure today.”

I looked and saw that someone could enter after the agency’s closing time, you never know, I left happily. The treatment today was much more practical. No more wasting time.

I got thirsty and a little hungry so I decided to stop by the market and buy something. At the so called “one foot in the grave” cash register, the girl was talking with a colleague who will sometimes bag your groceries for you if she’s in a good mood.

The lady at the cash register, instead of giving me the change in my hand, put it on top of a grocery item and continued her conversation with the bag lady. With my new glasses I could see that both consider an elderly person capable and healthy and nothing of treating him with over courteousness.

Satisfied I went home to wipe my new glasses with a piece of flannel. I read on the internet that Brazil is now the fifth largest country in the world of pink tinted sunglass users. As a matter of fact I would strongly recommend it to Mrs. President Dilma, because I am sure she will love to see her public security office of her government in that light.